There was a time when awards, shields and medals were rare for children, and so they were treated with pride and respect. Today, event organisers and institutions make sure that every child gets a prize.
Awards and prizes are a great encouragement, of course. But children who receive them too often become complacent. Their urge to taste real victory fades as they move on, and the result is mediocre performance. Appreciation makes them happy; criticism and failure make them unhappy and frustrated.
In a study at Oxford, children were asked to draw a picture in front of observers and judges. The children who were very bright, and praised by everyone, could not draw at all. They felt insecure and afraid of failing, and were overcautious not to spoil their name with a bad picture.
A child with real potential in sport or the arts gets immersed in the task itself, and enjoys its unexpected twists and turns. They are not worried about the prize.
Is recognition for simply taking part organic growth? Raising a child is an art. Teachers and parents must be careful both in criticising and in appreciating. They should not keep reprimanding children for every wrong. They have to help them see the mistakes they make, and correct them, and look at the root cause and the circumstances that led to each mistake. They should notice negative thoughts, and gently correct wrong actions.
Punishing only the wrongdoers and appreciating everyone else is not a healthy approach. And giving awards to everyone just to make them happy, whether or not they have achieved something, will not help them grow.
You don't have to be perfect. Bad performance is also okay. Small steps are progress. Asking for help is strength. Keep moving onward, learning on the way.
About the author
R.J. Bhuvanesh
Chief Executive Officer of the KRM Group of Schools, Chennai. He taught mathematics and computer science for ten years before leading the group, and studied at Harvard's Project Zero Classroom.
